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Classification of Atheists |
Swiped from Aukland University Atheists.
Fundamentalist Atheist: There is no God, and anyone who thinks there is a God is a misguided and dangerous fool.
Evangelical Atheist: It is not sufficient that there is no God. We must do our best to make sure that nobody even believes that there is one.
Theological Atheist: The principles of logic demonstrate the absence of any omnipotent and omniscient being in the universe.
Adolescent Atheist: Since I am a teenager, I know everything, and I know there is no God. The fact that many adults think that there is a God proves my case.
Scientific Atheist: There is no God because I cannot create a falsifiable hypothesis concerning His existence.
Social Atheist: Well, everyone I know and respect is an atheist, so there must be something to it.....
Campus Atheist: I need attention, and also to feel important, and I can get these things by being obnoxious about the existence of God.
Politically Correct Atheist: God has a consistent history of discrimination on gender, racial and cultural grounds, therefore must be banned from existing.
Closet Atheist: There are no good reasons for believing in God, but what harm can there be?
Lethargic Atheist: Religion is such a hassle, why bother?
Paranoid Atheist: Religion - sounds like another conspiracy, along with the aliens, the dolphins and the CIA - they’re all out to get me!
Nihilistic Atheist: Life has no point, and the existence of a god would invalidate this, so it is obviously not true.
Puritanical Atheist: We shall smite the evil believers in nonsense, and continue our purge until not one theist is left alive...
Philosophical Atheist: I don't believe, therefore I am.
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