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Reality for Teenagers
What Young People need to know about Reality
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Unfortunately life doesn't come with an owner's manual and the reality is that we're here and we have to figure out what we are going to do with our lives for ourselves. Many teens expect the adult world to have reality figured out and teach them what to do. And it's great when that happens. Unfortunately the human race hasn't yet evolved to the point where we have those kind of answers and teens are often disillusioned with adults and go off and make bad choices for lack of guidance and good information. All I can say is - sorry, and hope that the Church of Reality can provide some information to help you get a good start on life.
Although this advice is aimed at teens there's good advice here for people of all ages. So if you're older or younger and you find this information useful then that's great. Unlike many religions this isn't about being preachy and telling you about all kinds of cool stuff that you can't do. You as the reader however should think about what you see here and see if it applies to you. And if we get it wrong or you have ideas about new and better things to add, you get to participate. reality is for everyone, including teens. We want to hear your ideas and your perspective.
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It's important to think about the future. This is especially true of teens because your teen years are very important. This is the time when your core personality is forming and what you envision as a teen has a huge influence on who and what you will become for the rest of your life. Many teens end up being the result of their experiences as a teen. That's why it's important for you to own yourself and take control of who you are and what you want to become. After all, it's your life and if you don't take control of it then you won't be able to fully experience your potential.
So - it's good to think about what you want to be when you grow up. Do you see yourself being a normal happy person? Do you want to get married, have a family, or do you what to be your own person, be independent? Do you want to accomplish great things? Do you want to make lots of money? Do you want to be a world leader? Invent cool stuff? Be in a band? Run for office? Live on a farm and grow your own food? Be an artist? Who are you really? And what do you want to become?
Picture yourself as an adult. What do you see? Where do you see your life going? Who are you really? What do you like to do? What do you care about? What is the most important thing in your life?
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The most important word for a teenager to learn is the word NO. (This is not limited to teens so everyone listen up here.) If we lived in a perfect world this wouldn't be as much of a problem as it is, but we live in a world where there are people who exploit and prey upon the weak and disadvantaged. Who are the weak and disadvantaged? For the purpose of this discussion, they include people who have a problem saying NO.
What do we mean by saying NO? NO is an easy word. It's just one syllable and two letters. One letter less than saying yes, but two letters more than saying nothing at all. And therein lies the problem. To some people if you don't say NO fast enough or hard enough they interpret it as saying yes. But the word NO is a very powerful word. It is probably the most important word in our language. NO tells people that you are someone and you refuse to go along. NO means that you will not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. NO means that you are not going to allow yourself to be passively controlled by others. NO means that you think for yourself. NO means that you own yourself. And owning yourself is an important concept in the Church of Reality.
NO is the word that starts revolutions. NO is the word that allows the oppressed to rise up. NO is the word that is the point where change occurs. When the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. started a revolution for the equality of people, the revolution started by saying NO. When Rosa Parks was told that she had to sit in the back of the bus she said NO and NO changed the world. Ghandi in India said NO and drove out British control. Nelson Mandela said NO and ended apartheid in South Africa. Susan B. Anthony said NO, that women will not be denied the right to vote, and she prevailed. No is the word of empowerment. NO is the word of leadership. NO allows us to look at who we are and what we are doing and decide who we are and what we will become. NO allows you to stand up for yourself, to defend your rights, and to assert who you are in the world. You can not own yourself until you own the word NO.
When you are a teenager there are people out there who would take advantage of you. Some are adults who want to molest you and some are your friends who want you to do things to fit in. There are people out there who are users who just look at you as a possible resource for whatever they want from you, who are looking for people with a weak NO to take advantage of. Sometimes they want you to participate in a group so as to self reinforce doing things that are wrong. Common things include drugs, sex, money, religious cults, and gangs, but it could be almost anything, and generally when you think about it, it's something that you know you shouldn't be involved in and there is just a lot of pressure. In fact any time people are pressuring you the pressure should alert you to think things through. Are you being pressured because it is the right thing to do and people are looking out for your best interest? Or are you being pressured because someone wants something from you that you don't want to be a part of? Sometimes it's not so easy to tell the difference.
NO often has a price. If you say NO, then they won't be your friend anymore. If you say NO, then you are un cool. If you say NO, then the person won't date you anymore. Sometimes they will threaten violence against you if you say NO. NO is not an easy word because it's easier in the short term to just go along to get along. But if you do that, then it forms a habit and you lose control of who you are and you can end up doing things that have consequences for the rest of your life. You can end up in jail, raising babies instead of going to school, seriously injured, drug addicted, or dead.
NO gives you the inner strength to control your life and make your own decisions for yourself. When you say NO then you reclaim who you are. You are telling the world that you own yourself. That you are a strong person. That you control your own destiny. That you care about your future. That you know that choices have consequences. That you are not going to be a drug addict. That you do not have to give in to other people's sexual needs when you don't want to have sex with them. That you are not going to be a gang member. That you will not wear a Burqa. That women have the same rights to self-determination as men. That you will not worship fictional deities. That you are not going to smoke cigarettes to fit in. It's your life. You own it. But you have to say NO to claim it.
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Bad judgment as a teen can mess you up for life. Teens are particularly vulnerable because teens are inexperienced and are more easily taken advantage of than adults. Old enough to get into trouble but not old enough to stay out of trouble. Teens are also reckless and do stupid things that can and often do get you killed. Teens think they are invulnerable and haven't learned to take danger seriously. Teens often don't appreciate that bad choices and bad habits formed as teens can hurt you for the rest of your life.
Driving
All kids want to drive. Driving gives you freedom of movement. You can go anywhere you want without having to get your parents to take you places. But driving is a big killer of teens and if you pay attention here you can greatly reduce your chances of being killed or crippled in a car crash. The goal here is to help educate you so that you don't end up coming home dead. Accidents can happen to anyone. But if you are more careful then it is less likely that accidents can happen to you.
- Driving and Drugs - Driving under the influence of drugs (DUI) is one of the biggest killers of teens. Teens however don't fully appreciate the dangers involved in DUI and unless you personally know someone who was killed in a car crash you don't relate to the danger. So, it really is important that if you do drink or take drugs that you not drive.
The worse drug to drive under is alcohol. It really does affect you more that you realize when you are actually drunk and it really is dangerous. You think you are fine but you aren't. The chances are that you will make it home if you drive drunk but it is extremely risky. For those who drive drunk a lot every time you drive, you are taking a chance and the odds accumulate based on the number of chances you take. So someone who drives drunk a lot is likely to eventually end up in a serious accident.
Although Alcohol is the biggest killer of drivers, other drugs can cause you to wreck your car as well. Some of them are less dangerous but they do impair you and you should carefully evaluate your level of impairment before getting into a vehicle. For example, Meth makes you very alert. Some might think that they are a superior driver when doing Meth and as compared to being drunk, you would be correct. However Meth also makes you want to drive fast and take chances to test your illusion of superior ability and you end up doing insane things that get you killed. Although Pot isn't as likely to make you crash your car, it does affect you and if you're really stoned you shouldn't be driving. In general, if you are really feeling the buzz, let someone else drive the car.
You don't have to be the driver to die in a car crash. If the driver is drunk and the driver crashes and you are in the car, then you crash too. In fact it might be more dangerous for the passengers because cars usually do a better job of protecting the driver than they do of protecting everyone else. So - if you are part of a group and the driver is impaired, replace the driver.
- Self Drinking Test - You've seen the videos of people being pulled over and asked by police to do physical acts to test if they are drunk or not. These include leaning your head back and touching your nose starting with outstretched arms and walking a line heal to toe. If you are feeling a buzz then try those tests before you get in the car. Or if you are a possible passenger and you think the driver is too drunk to drive then get the driver to do those tests. If the driver fails the sobriety test before getting in the car then they shouldn't drive.
- Driving while Angry - Driving while angry can cause you to wreck your car. Teens often get really angry and it is very dangerous to drive while angry. Anger is very distracting. While you are churning what you are angry about and focused on, you often are not paying attention to traffic around you and you end up sailing through a stop sign or a red light and crash into someone. If you are angry then calm down first or make yourself put the anger on hold while you are driving. When you are behind the wheel you have to pay attention to the road. You might have to dodge another angry driver who just ran a red light.
- Distractions - When you drive you have to pay attention to the road. When you are a new driver you can get overconfident and because you don't have the driving experience, you can get distracted and an event can happen in the path of your car and you won't see it. As you get older and have had near misses or accidents, you know that you can't allow yourself to be distracted and not pay attention to what's going on. For many people it takes an accident or near accident to learn this lesson. But you can skip that step and pretend that you already had your near death experience and pay attention to the road.
- Practicing your Driving Skills - If you live in an area where it snows, it's a good idea to go out on a parking lot where there's a lot of room and spin out and slide on the ice just to get used to what that feels like. There is an art to driving with no traction and you only learn that by experiencing it. So go practice on ice so that when you really are spinning out on ice you know what to do.
Pregnancy
Cults
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Reality for Teens